HE said she Said, I said you SAID

At the start of the convo

I said

"i got a new crush, Yeah im pretty sure u know her"

you said

":O (OH)"

At the end of the convo

I said

"that girl was you"

you said

"I know"

Of course you did. I knew that you knew, yet I still had to say it. It gives me the a satisfaction, much like Hercules completing his seven tasks. Thus I am proud to announce I'm not a pussy =D. Thats something to be proud of. The only thing that bugs is me is that you probably knew that I thought you were somthing else before I knew. Maybe you even know me better than I know myself, lol wat a disgrace. I would be lying if I said I didnt speculate what future there could be but I know that we dont see eachother the same way, I could be wrong but im almost never wrong. As capable and strong as you say, you havnt fully conviced me, thus I dont want to be a burden on your shoulders. I dont want to rock a stable boat. I guess im just glad that my heart isnt leaking tears.

---

You deserve to know the truth. And the story was my frend said I was going through a lot of trouble :"how sweet". I even foolishly replied to him "haha sif man, its not like that". But now i realised..it was like that. I woke that next morning 9 or so hours later with you in my head and my brain this time doodled on my head...."you know what waking up thinking about a girl...means?? It means your a flipping idiot and you know im right. I'm mr IQ 133 :P" damn you and your logic mr 133 IQ, I hate you.

---

Just know that ill always be there, somewhere over the hills listening to the echoing of your voice in the valleys because as long as your happy thats all that matters. As long as you smile thats all that matters.

---

Hahah how this makes my last blog seem so awkward that you know it was about you =.=. But thats why I blog at 1 am or later. Im delirious and im not afraid to write my mind.

---

Amen. yours sincerely, no just yours.

---

And this time I can say that I care about you boundlessly to your face not through a void.

and yes im an idiot.

---

O and one more thing, you asked how long i inted to like this girl for? A long time, mayb years and im not ashamed.

133 IQ, highly gifted?? u got it all wrong.

this is a quite metaphorical piece. all my pieces are from the heart. done in ten...now 30.... minutes 2 am to 2 30 am. biomedicine students reading this will be more aware and appreciate the writing. ENJOY!

Think girl think. You say im stupid, i say im lost. You say Im amazing, I say Im yours.

............and so facebook reckons my IQ is 133 or highly gifted. (almost near genius). *chuckles. WELLL SORRRY mr FACEBOOK iq APP. IF I was highly gifted I wouldnt be here writing this blog.....


F.Y.I.
racemic* - a type of chemical mixture with two types of almost identical substances (chem)
resolved* - seperation of these two chemicals, light is rotated when it passes through resolved substances.
mouse* - used in biology lab dissection (biology)
boundless* - approach infinity (maths)
F.Y.I = My mind wanders in your direction all to often in uni


My neurones relay my impulses between complex pathways, unable to differentiate my next thought. I am lost, like a helpless mouse in a maze finding its way out....or in, whilst stressing about your constant gaze. I'm a perfectionist, although I wish I were instead a ventriliquist and speak my words through a void we could both relate to. A void in which my racemic mixture of emotions could be resolved and turn light in the right direction to distinguish my thoughts, although my void is fiction this is fact. Lately I care about you boundlessly, too much in fact and when I realised my mind expanded against my forehead doodling "you flippin idiot" on the inside of my skull. An epiphany I thought I would have long learned. Im searching for a part of myself i misplaced and I found it in you, but I think im going to lose the shifty bast*rd again.

"Faliure is when you dont learn from your mistakes"

*laughs to himself.

Well mister 133 IQ, this faliure better be worth it because if its not than you dont deserve to be my brain.....or heart. At least my heart knows how to leak tears from its cracks, that way *noone can see.....

that way I dont have to see myself......genius

and how I long to hear that voice....ridiculous

yet how much i want to be with you....relentless

How long for??...endless

all the while you are......oblivious

And just for laughs....penis.

nono lets be...serious

Andrew - yours sincerely.

No.... just yours

(just yours....get the pun? dont be so dumb do u need me to tell u straight to the face??? well miss im to cool for skool, turns out im prolly to pussy to tell you ;P. so youll have to figure it out yourself)

Amen

"Desperado"

WAOH! Its been almost 6 months since my last blog. :), EXAMS ARE SOON =(((. how time flies when your NOT having fun. Anyways so i picked up guitar and I can cross it off my to do list. among my list of what i think completes me lol..... and a qoute by awesome rocker chick Sarah springs to mind 'coz guys complete girls' or vise versa. Anywho to the point....

You may have heard of the song desperado by the eagles. Its a pretty epic song especially acoustic version with awesome harmonics =D. The lyrics that struck me was

'you better let somebody love you before its too late'.

im letting you love me, and i hope its not too late. ILY xx.

Hahaaha, u know if its u ;).

Andrew --> your lips on mine

The house was old....

A fine layer of greasy dirt gathered in the corners and along the window sill of the small kitchen. Rays of light streamed through the lace curtains illuminating every crevice of the room. The glossy brown tiles patterned on the floor were reminscent of early twentieth century architecture, even the wooden cupboards and benchtop reflected the era. The century old tiles felt cool and sticky on my feet and caused me to fiddle with my toes as I discovered the new and pecualiar sensation below my feet. I was sitting at a small round dinner table pushed off to the side of the wall draped in a single white cloth, an ornamental plate of fruit sat at the centre of the table. A bundle of green grapes hung limply over the side of the dish threatening to tumble over, if it were not for the bannas and oranges anchoring the tail of the vine I was certain the grapes would have plummeted onto the white linen below.

Despite the familiarity of this house I was certain that I had never been here before, I did not have the slightest idea where I was. I looked across the table and I froze as I met her eyes, the look on her face was full of life and her body resonated an aura of excitement. Her whispy brown hair hung loosely over her shoulder as she smiled the same perfect smile that I craved. I was stunned when I found that her perfect smile was enhanced, if it were possible by diffused light passing through the lace curtains. It was beyond perfection, it was unreal. She pushed her chair backward and stood up, her slender figure was dressed in a white blouse and shorts that ended high above her knees revealing the beautiful caramel complexion of her legs. Instinctively as if it was my cue, I stood up and reached for her hand, I stared deep into her round hazel eyes and knew exactly what she wanted. I slipped my arm around her waist and guided her down a dark empty corridor, the dry grainy floorboards creeked beneath our feet as we sought privacy in a neighbouring room. Somehow I seemed to know where I was going and somehow we reached our destination at the doorway of the living room. Unlike the kitchen this room was modern, furry light blue carpet lined the floor and the walls were made almost entirely of glass. A grey leather couch spanned across the carpet giving a direct view of the urban garden on the other side of the glass. We drifted into the room as if drawn by an unknown force, a force that resonated from every element of the space before us. On cue she wrapped her arms around my neck, I turned to face her as my flaccid arm swung around the other side of her waist as we edged closer to eachother. Her beaming smile made my heart thump against the wall of my chest and I could feel her moist irregular breath on my chest as it passed through my shirt. Suddenly from the corner of my eye I noticed a gliding shadow that was passing through the garden outside, I jerked my head sideways and shot a glance at the culprit who had spoiled my intimate moment.

It was my mother

The moment was to perfect to be ruined and I was not yet satified. Suddenly a brilliant idea flashed through my mind. I could feel a 1000 watt lightglobe flickering as it hovered inches above my head. It was genius. I carefully placed the angel in my arms on her side behind the couch, my hands brushed against the soft sunwarmed carpet as I pulled them out from under her warm body. We were hidden from the reaper of intimate moments, we were safe. I took my place on the carpet beside my love and looped my hand around her back and behind her neck. I pulled her towards me so close that I could smell the fruity fragrance of shampoo in her hair, I couldn't bare another moment of restraint and I pushed my lips aginst hers. Her soft lips moulded to mine as I began to kiss her and I tasted the very essence that made my life worth it, my elixer of life. My insatiable thirst had been quenched and slowly our lips parted, she slowly opened her eyes inches from mine, I could see the passion burning in her eyes as I held her like I would never see her again. Thats when I opened my eyes to the bellowing howles of a mad women.

It was my mother....

Andrew - An empty few days

lols OK ive gotten through 2 months worth of Sarah's blogs =D. decided I should write my own. And no its not going to be a normal blog, yet another story. coz thats how I roll. This blog isnt going to be so lovey dovey as my other ones, im seriously not feeling all to good. This piece is entirely metaphorical. Its late sorry i couldnt be more articulate im very tired and its taking me aaages to write >.<.

>>>>>

Lately, the same thoughts continually resurfed in my mind, trapped by a viscous fluid that flowed through my veins and passed through my beating heart. Two months ago or 60 days or 1440 hours or 86400 minutes or 5184000 seconds, I explicitly told myself 'never fall in love again'. The Love had drained away from me, vanished as if the devil dug upwards and let flow the oceans deep into his lair, and I watched him. I stared into his menacing eyes as he pryed a giant trench in the Earth and drained me empty, I watched him cackle as fragments of my ripped heart gasped in pain. I cried dry tears and for a brief moment death was an alternative. But of course, I was already dead.

She grinned as she bent over and collected the pieces of my broken heart, placing them together like a jigsaw puzzle and glueing the pieces back together.

"I think you left something behind superman"

she chuckled as she carefully opened my chest and set the beating jewel where it belonged. When she finished she marveled at her work and wrapped her hands around my neck. I instinctivly swung my arms around her waist and clutched her in my arms, I could feel her breathing erratically on my neck. I stared down at the hazel brown eyes looking up at me and I realised that my rebuilt heart was yet to function properly, I bent my neck so that my lips brushed across her fringe and made way to her soft lips. I tightened my grip around her waist as our lips met and at that moment, nothing else mattered.

"HA! 'Never fall in love again', Eat your words boy"

Monsoonal rains began to flood the Earth, slowly the oceans returned. One month on and I had eaten my words. I care about her, more than I had cared for other girl, 'I couldnt imagine how an angel could be any more glorious'. Yet some things are to good to be true. I love her. I love her too much. Every moment of my day my heart aches to be with her, she is the viscous fluid flowing through my veins, the fluid racing through my heart keeping me alive.

Yet when I need you, you're not there. My heart is breaking apart agen, this time you're not there to glue back the pieces. Again im crying dry tears, I have chained myself to a pole to refrain my thoughts. The thoughts that remind me when you say

"I care about you more than anything else in the world"

Well

"eat your words girl"

If you cared you would be there for me.

>>>>>>>>>>>

*sigh. yeah its a bit emo isnt it? i do love her more than anything. . although it is hard when u havnt seen her in so long. And she doesnt seem to be making time for you. But i did promise i would never leave her :). I intend to stick to my promise. I love you babe.

Andrew - 'all that matters is that you're in my arms'

Finally it happened. A sleep that was entirely worth its weight in gold.... that is.... if dreams had weight.

And here I was reliving an all too real experience. One that I had craved for what seemed to be millenia. Every detail was perfect, my subconscious mind did not let me down. Our eyes met and we eyed eachother with an affectionate connection, one that was ever more potent that before. Her eyes fluttered with childlike bouyance as she surveyed my face. No doubt I looked completely idiotic being lost in her gaze. I had almost forgotten how beautiful it was peeking through the wisps of brown velvet hair that formed a fringe about her perfect forehead. I caught a glimpse of her brilliant white teeth as she chuckled, this was something that set my heart at ease, seeing her smile was all that mattered. I was reliving a past experiece, an experience so surreal it jolted the locked memories buried deep in my mind. I surveyed my surroundings, every finite detail was complete to perfection. I wondered how much storage space this memory occupied in my mind, and I realised that I never wanted to forget it. I never wanted to forget the soothing cool breeze that swept across my skin nor the soft beating sunlight extending its rays far from the heavens to reflect flawlessly from her caramel complexion. Even the people in the background who I had never noticed before had a ring of familiarity. However, unlike last time I would not let an opportunity pass me by and I reached forward to Clutch her hand. I swung her close to my chest and hugged her in my arms as hard as I could without hurting her as if she were some sort of fragile artifact.

Suddenly my vision blurred and the world swirled around me. I was lying in a large bed, completely draped in white. This place was unfamiliar to me, all but dark haze extended from the foot of the bed. The freakishness sent chills down my spine and my heart began to beat erraticly. I didnt care what this was, or where I was, I DESPERATELY wanted my other vision to return. As if my pleas were answered by god, there she was... lying a few feet from me smiling my favourite smile. The same velvet hair, nestled against the stark white pillows half concealing eyes that burned with passion. Instinctively I reached out for her hand and rolled her easily onto my chest so that she was lying on top of me listening intently to my unsteady heartbeat. I held her in my arms so close I could smell her familiar fragrant scent, I did not wish to ever let go of her as I drifted away from the bliss and melancholy back to reality...

...with that my eyes opened and I stared at the familiarity of my bedroom,

longing for my love.

ANDREW - I wont hold back, ill let it all go

The name I had been waiting for appeared on my contact list, the flickering words sent a concentrated tingle that ran the length of my spine. I closed my eyes and lifted my head towards the ceiling and exhaled. For the past few days my only means of connection to the outside world was SMSfun, 5 free txts per day was nowhere near my usual amount and as such as was as inquisitive as a boy on red cordial. I missed her, even though we were only friends and that was fact. It had been weeks since I last looked upon her brilliant smile, revealing sparkling mcleans teeth that glistened under the sunlight. To be honest I dont remember how the conversation meadered like the amazonian river into uncharted territory, but somehow i had navigated my boat into a small creek that showed the destruction of the beautiful jungle, something I had partially foreseen but not to the extent which I was not staring into.

'and thats why I don't like to open up'

Her words echoed in my ears as they would in a vast empty cavern. Never in my wildest dreams did I know the severity of her depression. This was the dark side of the moon, the side nobody sees, the side that was hidden.

'I've done it before, I can do it again. Ill just hide my emotions behind a smile'

My heart drilled against the cavity of my chest seeking escape. I could feel the blood rise to my head as my fuse gradually burned shorter. I urged her to try and change but to no avail, it killed me to see her sad. My lit fuse finally hit the end of its journey.

'I dont even know why I bother with you'

'Fine, I'll leave you alone'

I instantly knew that I had crossed the invisable line, I was trying to sweep a minefield only to be its victim. The words must've etched itself deep into her heart igniting tremendous pain, and with that she logged off. My mind collapsed, for the first time in months I was afraid of something. Afraid that I would lose her. I scrambled to smsfun.com.au in my panic almost forgot my login details. 'Thank god it was four in the morning' I told myself, a new day meant rejouvenated daily text allowance. I began to type.

'It's because I care about you more than you care about yourself, im sorry, I just dont want to see you sad.'

'Why do you care? havn't I disappointed you enough already'

That was a good question, why did I care? I searched my mind for answers and a brief moment felt an eternity as my mind mathematically eliminated possible reasons. Soon I began to txt her yet again.

'You dont disappoint me ... I was just annoyed that you didn't care. Ok, im over holding my emotions back.....'

The familiar name on 'appear offline' began to flash on my task bar. I stared at the screen like I had just diverted a tsunami. Once again she asked.

'Why do you care?'

'I dunno, I especially care about you...'

'I want you so much right now'

'I want you too'

At that moment nuthing else mattered. Just knowing that we had eachother at that moment was enough reason to smile.